Gunless on Gunsmoke
by AGodofIrony
Summary: When The Doctor, Samus, and The Little Prince crash land on a strange desert planet, they'll have to figure out how to repair the broke TARDIS, along with coming across several obstacles. And just who is this strange man in the red coat?


A.N. So if you're wondering what The Doctor, Samus Aran, and The Little Prince are doing here, go read _Of Doctors and Princes_. It's only two chapters long, won't take you much time.

Have you done that? Yes? No? Maybe? Don't care? Well then, I hope you enjoy!

[. . .]

"Why hello there pretty lady...Why don't you come with me, up to my room."

A large man with blond hair, who hadn't shaved for days, and smelled strongly of alcohol leaned against the bar, grinning at a tall woman with long blonde hair, pulled into a ponytail.

The woman didn't react, sipping a glass of water. She wore a long sleeved blue shirt, along with blue jeans, and an orange cowboy's hat she had taken from the last man who had hit on her.

A small gun sat in a holster by her hip.

She simply ignored the overly flirtatious individual, the man growing angry.

"Hey, don't you know who I am?" the man growled, as the entire saloon grew quiet, realizing what was happening, "I killed a lot of people! I'm a wanted man! I'm Vash the Stampede!"

The blonde woman paused, blue eyes glancing to him now.

"The one with the sixty billion double dollar reward?" she asked, seemingly interested.

"That's right!" the man said, patting his chest, "So you better be...care...ful..."

The man froze, finding a blaster fixed between his eyes, the woman pointed it at him.

"No you're not," the woman said, sipping her water, "You're too slow to be someone like this Vash the Stampede is."

"And his eyes...they're not the eyes of someone who's done what this Vash has," another voice said, walking into the saloon.

The man wore a long brown coat, despite the desert heat, and a blue suit beneath it, with spikey brown hair, walking into the saloon.

"Sorry Samus, Little Prince kept me," the man said, hands in his pockets, "We're ready for now. I've secured the T.A.R.D.I.S."

"Good," Samus said, sliding from her seat, finishing her water, holstering her blaster, "Now then Doctor, where are exactly are we going?"

"There's an old space ship," The Doctor answered, as Samus walked over to him, "It should have the parts I need to get the T.A.R.D.I.S. working again. Then I can get us off the planet."

"H-hey, wait!" the fake Vash said suddenly, growing angry again, now that the gun was out of his face, "You can't just walk away from me!"

The man reached into his dirty coat, pulling out a gun, pointing it at the two.

The Doctor and Samus moved, Samus firing her blaster, The Doctor pointing his Sonic Screwdriver at the man.

Two things happened at once. The man's gun opened, all of it's shots falling to the floor, while he was thrown back by the blast, collapsing over the bar top, not moving.

"He's going to have one hell of a headache when he gets up," Samus sighed, holstering her blaster, The Doctor's device being placed into his pocket again.

The Doctor smirked, "You remind me of someone I use to know..."

"Who?" Samus wondered, as they stepped into the sunlight, "And don't think just because you're acting chummy now, doesn't mean I'm not still going to bring you in."

"Wouldn't dream of it being any other way," The Doctor answered, "And a girl...named Jenny..."

"Old flame?" Samus asked, raising an eyebrow. The Doctor froze, shaking his head, a disgusted look on his face.

"No, no, no! She was...my daughter..." The Doctor answered, sighing softly. "She...died..."

"I see..." Samus said. A normal person would have said sorry for his loss, but if what the Guardians had told her about this Doctor was true, he was responsible for the deaths of trillions. She could not forgive something like that.

They walked down the street, coming to a stop by a bus, a small boy with blond hair by some bags, talking with a tall man with spikey blond hair and a red coat.

"Well that's a really nice sheep!" the tall man in a red coat and sunglasses laughed, looking at the picture of a box that The Doctor had drawn for The Little Prince, "It looks very healthy! I wish I had a sheep like this."

The Little Prince smiled, taking the picture back and putting it back carefully into his pocket.

"'Ello!" The Doctor said, waving his arm, The Little Prince looking happy to see him, nodding towards the red coated man.

"Oh, hello!" the red coated man said to The Doctor, "Are you this kid's father?" 

"Errr, no," The Doctor said.

The man paused, then stared at The Doctor, then threw a finger at him, accusingly, "You're not kidnapping this child, are you?"

"What's a kidnapping?" The Little Prince said, confused, "Doctor here is traveling, like me! We're helping each other!"

The red coated man paused, then grinned at the kid, then gave a thumbs up towards The Doctor, "Oh ho! So you found this kid wandering around, and took it upon yourself to help him! Very good then!"

The Doctor shrugged, not too off put by this odd man. He had seen stranger.

"So what are you doing here?" The Doctor wondered, "I mean...you're not human either..."

"What, not human?" the red coated man, looking worried, "Why, that's insane! My name is Valetinez Alkalanela Zeehok Sushira Boheres Gombigonela Blue Stradavari Tralentent Pierre Andre Charlatenhemost I'vanovitchi Baldos George Doitzel Kaiser III!"

"I'm The Little Prince!" the Little Prince smiled brightly, "It's nice to meet you, Mr. Third!"

"That's Valentinez Alkalanela Zeehok-"

"Right, right," The Doctor said, holding his hands up, "I'm The Doctor." He'd figure out just who this strange person was later.

"Oh, you're a doctor? Well, I got this cut on my knee and I'm worried it might be infected-"

"Not _that_ kind of Doctor," The Doctor quickly clarified, stopping the man as he began to raise his coat.

"What's going on here?" Samus wondered, walking over to them now.

The red coated man paused, seeing Samus, hearts appearing in his eyes, racing towards the woman, getting on one knee, holding Samus's hand.

"Such a desert beauty!" the red coated man declared, gazing up at Samus, who was debating on shooting this man with a blaster now or later, "You are an angel among others, a shining beacon of truth and beauty!...I know a good hotel nearby..."

Definitely now.

Samus produced her blaster, aiming it at the man's head, scowling. "You have until the count of three..."

"Our first spat! Oh, the children will love this story!" the man said.

"One."

"Errr, right," the man muttered, then got up, chuckling and holding his hands up, "Well, I should be boarding the bus..."

"Wait," Samus said, sighing, as the man turned back to her, taking her hands in his, looking serious as he stared directly into her eyes.

"Yes, I will marry you," the man said. There was a momentary pause, and Samus flung the man into the ground with a thud.

"Wooooo...what a woman..." the man muttered, chuckling.

"Come on, let's get on the bus," The Doctor said, getting their bags on the top of the bus, boarding it.

The Doctor took a seat, The Little Prince sitting next to him. Samus frowned, getting in a seat behind them.

"Oh, looks like all the other seats are taken! Seems like I'll have to sit here, by you," the red coated man said, sitting down by Samus.

"Mr. Third, there's a seat over-" The Little Prince began, but then was interrupted as the man gave the small child a picture of himself.

"Here, I drew you this!" the man grinned, "So you can remember me!"

The Little Prince paused, confused on why he would need a picture to remember this unusual man, but was glad to have it, sitting back down and turning to The Doctor.

"If you try anything, I will shoot you," Samus told the red coated man, as his hand moved towards the woman, stopping instantly.

Once the bus was full, it took off, moving down through the desert.

[. . .]

"_Do you think I'll see her finally, dear Doctor?"_

_The Doctor stared down at a young man in his arms, feeling him slip away. The young man was blond, with bright blue eyes, and wore a suit of black and purple._

"_I'm sure you will..." The Doctor responded, "You'll find her..."_

_The man smiled, nodding just once, "And I hope...you find your Rose as well..."_

"Doctor!"

The Doctor jerked awake, having nodded off on the bus, looking around, feeling it come to a stop.

"We're stopping, Doctor..." The Little Prince said, tugging on the Time Lord's sleeves, then pointed outside, "And there's some sand cloud in the distance..."

The Doctor frowned, then peered outside, seeing sand rising up, coming towards them. Very faintly he could see a number of figures.

Someone was coming.

"Can you outrun them?"

The Doctor looked up to the front of the bus, where Samus was talking to the driver, who was shaking his head.

"No...this damn thing broke down, and even if it hadn't, this thing can't go fast enough," the driver frowned. "Hopefully they'll just want our money..."

"Well they're not getting anything," Samus frowned, pulling out her blaster and stepping outside.

"Stay here," The Doctor instructed The Little Prince, who just nodded, The Doctor heading outside as well, standing in the hot sun.

"Let me talk to them first," The Doctor said to Samus, as the figures approached. There was five of them, all on motorcycles.

"Fine," Samus said, checking her blaster, "If things go bad though, I'm taking them out."

The Doctor just nodded, waiting as the figures came to a stop.

One of them, a man with a sunglasses and a pin striped suit stepped forward, smiling, taking off his hat and bowing.

"Hello, travelers..." the man said, "My name is Burke. It seems you've broken down...If you hand over all your valuables, we'll make sure you don't get robbed."

He grinned, and The Doctor stepped forward.

"We don't want any trouble. Please, if you try something, you're going to regret it. I'd rather avoid any mishaps," The Doctor said. Samus made sure her blaster was in view of the group.

Burke frowned, looking at the two, then towards the bus.

"If there was anyone else brave enough to take us, they would be out here as well," Burke commented, "So there's two of you...against my four."

He snapped, and the other four men lumbered forward. They were all large, hulking figures, each of them producing a mini gun from their vehicles, the barrels spinning menacingly.

The Doctor and Samus both dodged to the side, Samus opening fire, her blast hitting the mini gun of the man on the far right, it's energy blasts disabling it, the man shouting out as he dropped it.

The others shook, as their mini guns began to break down, The Doctor holding his Sonic Screwdriver aloft, blue light shining over them, the metal beginning to fall apart.

Burke frowned, though he did not seem worried. He stepped back, shaking his head.

"Kill them," he said simply.

The men dropped their guns into the sand, now useless, then reached behind them, producing crudely made swords, large and sharp.

The Doctor dodged to the side, while Samus stood her ground, firing on one of the men who was charging her.

A shot fired out, and the man yelled in pain, blood seeping from his hand, dropping the sword.

"Oh, whoops!" the red coated man said from a window in the bus, "Seems like my gun went off accidentally!"

Samus frowned, but then returned her attention to the man, running forward and jumping into the air, kicking the man's chin, knocking him backwards into the sand with a thud, then landed softly, eying the others.

The Doctor moved to the side, as one of the brutes slashed wildly, unable to hit this strange man. The Doctor twisted a dial on his Sonic Screwdriver, then held it up, the sonic vibrations pulsing from it. The man's sword began to shake wildly, The Doctor moving another dial. In a fraction of a second, it began to shatter, falling into useless pieces in the sand.

The man growled, bringing his arms around, trying to grab The Doctor.

"Oh come on now," The Doctor said, ducking out of the way, holding up his Sonic Screwdriver, "I just disabled your guns and your sword...don't think this can't take you down too?"

The others froze now, looking at the pieces of the one sword, and at the now useless piles of metal that had been their mini guns.

Burke frowned, looking at Samus and The Doctor, then bowed.

"Well, well, well...seems as though I have underestimated you two. Very well, we shall leave...but do I get your names?" Burke asked, looking up at them now through his dark glasses.

"Samus Aran," Samus answered, after a moment. Burke did not seem to react.

"I'm The Doctor," The Doctor said, standing up straight, "You should remember that."

Burke smiled, then nodded again, making a show of it as he turned to his cycle, boarding it, along with his goons.

"Very well then, Samus Aran, Doctor! Perhaps we shall meet again," Burke said, then drove off, his minions behind him.

After they had disappeared on the horizon, Samus and The Doctor both unfroze, breathing deeply.

"Could that thing really have taken all of them down?" Samus wondered, eying The Doctor's Sonic Screwdriver as he popped the hood of the bus, the driver looking nervous.

"Nope. Can't hurt people," The Doctor answered with a grin, "Doesn't effect wood either..."

"So you were bluffing. What would you have done if they called you on it?" Samus asked, watching as The Doctor fixed the bus, closing up the hood.

"Something clever," The Doctor answered, still grinning as he flipped his Sonic Screwdriver into the air, catching it as it came back down. Samus frowned, the two boarding the bus again, many of the passengers thanking them.

"It'll be about three more hours, and we'll make it to the next city, Megaton," the bus driver announced, as they started off.

"Allonz-y," The Doctor smiled.

[. . .]

A.N. This is part of my 'Earth 42' stuff I'm working on. As of writing this, the stories in that universe include:

_Of Doctors and Princes_

_Ten vs. Twelve_

_A New Team_

_Tales of New York City_

The only story of those you need to read to get this is the first one, as stated at the beginning, though The Doctor may or may not make references to things in other stories, being a time traveler and all.

Additionally I'm not sure how long this story will go on for, but expect it to crossover with some other stuff. Might eventually spin off into a sequel at some point.

Also if you get where Burke and Megaton are from, expect a boatload more references in future chapters! XD


End file.
